One Coffee Please |
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This is just begging for a response. A man ordered a cuppa in a food court at Little India and asked if he can have “one coffee please.”. The refreshment stall supervisor responded with a “I dunno how to make one coffee-please, what is one coffee please?”. This, as reported in the papers last month in the wake of our Prime Minister’s National Day speech on graciousness and kindness.
Then, in a fabulously worded response, the management of the food court justified the incident as “trivial” and that they were “joking”, explaining further that the supervisor is Mandarin speaking and indifferent to polite English speaking folks. He does not know what “please” is as he was originally from another stall at Bukit Panjang and has a “different kind of understanding of the language.” So, this chap is very-one-kind la. I doubt he’s trying to garner support from folks in Bukit Panjang too as, oh-puhleeeese, I do know of some gracious and polite people living there. Perhaps, Mr Yee, the gentle old retiree who was ridiculed for his manners, should have re-phrased his order with a “two coffee please.” – one to drink up and the other to pour it on the supervisor’s head as folks in Little India also has a different understanding of body language, and then ask “would you like one more please.” I jest, of course, and kids, don’t try this at home as your dad would not want to remind you of the last time you had a smacking from him. Maybe Mr Tay Guizhong, the highlighted supervisor, who is physically twenty-something years old, was taking our PM’s statement too seriously when he said that “it is not so common to say please.” It’s Gen-X folks like Mr Tay, who should defy the PM’s statement and prove him wrong. And he’ll be pleased to know that this is the kind of wrongdoing this government tolerates. I have set up and operated similar food court refreshment stalls and have seen some even worse customer-staff incidents which did not blow over but instead led to the parties trading blows over each other. It is very stressful and physically demanding - standing on your feet eight hours a day taking orders from customers with all sorts of strange accents , fulfilling it, every minute, every hour, every day and very humdrum and mundane, even for the bored and boorish. In many ways, I have more than a passing respect for these necessary counter service workers. The industry here does not pay them much unlike star baristas in the west. They aren’t overly ambitious and the industry does not have a big pool of talents to tap on and hire. Which was why (and this would really rile Mr Tay), just a few days ago, I ordered a cuppa the way I usually do, at a food court in the east – with a smile, I went “Helloooo” (to grab their attention and perhaps light up their day), and “can I have one coffee please, not too sweet please.” The supervisor aunty noticed that the middle aged kopi-Ah-Chek (coffee maker uncle) had a perplexed look in his face, jaws somewhat agape. “Kopi siew tai” was her retort, in a blink, to the Ah Chek. Kopi-siew-tai, along with a host of other nicknames, are a series of unique terms a generation of folks here use to order their drinks and beverages in coffeeshops and hawker centres. Even and kopi aunty, originally from Heilongjiang in China, knows what kopi-kao-kosong is. Perhaps, as a mark of paying homage to this kopi culture here and with respect for these tireless (sometimes clueless) kopi counter workers (who take the trouble to learn) we should celebrate it. So, the next time, instead of asking for a flat white of a long black in cafes, use these Made-in-Singapore terms, laced with dialect, mandarin and bahasa terms. • Kopi-o kao-kosong…….black coffee,
no sugar. And of course, please remember to affix a “please” at the end of the order. Smile optional but preferred.
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