Just what is it about eating the unformed gestating offshoot of an animal, boiled to ensure smoothness, that makes it so endearing to carnivores like us (some of). And what about swirling them, all mixed up with the white secretions of a fibrous fruit, over fire, and caramelizing it with heaps of heart attack inducing sugar and smearing it over heated flour and water with the oily, cured excretions of another animal? What makes us look forward to wash it all down with the brackish boiling water that was used to flush some bitter crushed black nut.

It’s called our national breakfast- roti kaya and half boiled eggs with kopi. That thick, rich, rough yet creamy, coconutty and eggy kaya, spread over toast or a hot crispy bun with a slice of cold butter that is best flushed down with freshly brewed local style kopi, percolated with kopi socks. A sensation that is best enriched with two smoothly half boiled size B eggs, downed separately, with a shot of soy sauce and a puff of pepper...

The origins of our kaya is as murky as that brackish cuppa I had this morning. My theory is perhaps the Nonyas were inspired by the Chinese egg tarts or the Portuguese custard (Pastei de nata), and they replaced the cinnamon and vanilla with pandan leaf or essence. It came out sloshy, not quite wobbly, so that signalled the birth of kaya. Then, trust the Hock Chiews and the Hainanese to take that to a national level by offering it in every kopitiam here and in the region.

National Breakfast- roti kaya and half boiled eggs with kopi

First time I had it, it came as the prefect pre-puberty snack. The sugar rush, the energizing eggs and the carbo-load from the toast, plus the caffeine in the kopi-o sent me zipping about all day long as a little kid. That food culture today, I’m happy to note, has been institutionalized. Just note the many ubiquitous kaya kopi coffeeshop chains that are sprouting up around the island in retail malls and at every convenient corner.

But sadly, the soul of it has been lost. That touch, sense and feel about it has been folded in to the pages of the operation manual of a chain stall. Everything about these stalls is too sweet and slick, including the well-rehearsed customer service (they don’t holler “kopi kao, nong” or “teh-o siew tai”). I know some use custard powder to sweeten and smoothen the mass produced kaya (for efficiency). Even the coffee beans have been buffed up with corn flavour for that fake roundness in the aftertaste. More and more old kopitiams are falling like flies and are getting inspired by the Starbucks business model. It’s like marketing a game of marbles like how Manchester United hawks Ronaldo. Sad for the food culture vulture, good for the majority stakeholder.

Roland Teo who spent $3,000 on his coffee-making skill

Then, along came Roland Teo, a retrenched marketing executive who thought about buying into the franchise of one these kopi kaya chains. He knows nothing about the business and even less about how a good coffee should be made. “The franchise deal fell through and before I knew it, I bought over this hawker centre coffee stall at the advise of a friend”, who told Roland that there were just “a few competitors” in this smallish hawker centre. “ Roland counted 16, “so I “LL”(local slang for “had not choice”) and had to get on with business. He hired an old kopitiam master to teach him how to make the perfect cuppa. “ He taught me water temperature and the art of rushing and flushing it through the right kinda beans to shock its aroma out, and how a warm cup must always be used”. Three thousand dollars later, the old man left and said “tea is another three thousand dollars.”

His coffee has a roundness and full-bodied gentility that justify the fees. It comes with no hint of sourness or any uncomfortable bitterness. It is very easy to drink and like. Then he figured out how tea is done “ you must tarek (pull) it to release the siap siap (tannin) taste”. It was nice, but someone should sell him a better tea dust. His kaya was a little bit egg-ier than most and had that roughness about it. It was not own-made but the concoction of a kaya supplier friend that did it to his liking. What I liked was that it came in a well toasted old fashioned bun- thick, fluffy, crispy and light (forget the usual brown bread slices), with a square of butter inside.

Then he revealed, how he cracked his head over how the perfect half boiled egg is done- “Use eggs that’s at least 3 days old so it is not too runny and never straight out of the fridge. Bring water to a boil, shut off heat and cook them for 8 ½ minutes. Then, spin them about to loosen the whites from the shell before you crack it.” Yes, I tried it at home with two eggs and it did not work, but his did. Perhaps he wants three thousand bucks to reveal the real secret behind it.

Coffee Hut

Address 01-43, Jalan Berseh Food Centre (junction of Jalan Besar and Kelantan Lane)

Opening Hours 6.30am-4pm (Monday to Friday) 6.30am-2pm (Saturday and Sunday) Closed on public holidays