Die die don’t try
By K.F.Seetoh

Before I launch into a retrospective spiel about the food I’ve eaten all these decades that gave me so much confidence in many of my recommendations and helped refine my palate, I first like to take a sentence off to thank The Singapore Tourism Board for conferring the Special Recognition Award on me (and my colleagues at Makansutra), for our work in promoting and celebrating good food culture here. The fussy foodie public and the very ardent feeders that reside on our Makansutra website have also been of great support. By default, I think practically everyone in Singapore is a food critic, given our culinary crossroads geography and heritage, which exposes us to many flavours and makes us all food ambassadors of sorts.

Now back to the retrospectives. I am really talking about the very uninspiring food I have had the pleasure of consuming all these while. I’ll reflect why it was a pleasure. If I’ve never had that opportunity to digest that roti prata which tastes and feels like an inner shoe sole lining, I won’t be able to cry in joy over the Upper Thomson Road or Jalan Kayu ones and wax lyrical about how the deliberate folding of air pocket into the dough before they pan fry, helps steam the soft insides as they crisp the outside. And oh, to those few prata masters who squirt a few drops of vanilla essence into the dough for fragrance…terima kasih!

We are currently in the midst of updating our seventh edition of Makansutra Singapore (2008-9 edition) and it means each team of testers has to go through about ten places or dishes a day, over two months. They test (one bite to taste, two to confirm and three to rate) and don’t eat, but it can amount to the equivalent of five meals a day, which isn’t so bad. But when you factor reality checks like how more than 70% of the stuff we slide down our gullet are actually sad stuff that helps us appreciate really good ones, it becomes a different equation. We get a compilation of recommendations from a variety of sources –from our old long time “makanmatas” food cops, some very reliable food forummers, floggers and reviewers on our web, the thick skinned hawkers and chefs who write or call in to demand a rating (some of which are gems), and the good intentioned public who just want to share their makan escapades with us. And of course, the pure curiosity and food anthropological nature in our core team helps open some avenue of discoveries. Some recommendations just miss the mark by a mile (and we wonder how it got to us in the first place). We share some misadventures of our wasted caloric musings.

  1. An advanced report on a wanton mee stall in Chinatown said it was “good, and the pink cha siew very uniquely Singapore style. The sauce is nice.” .We checked and it was true, the pink cha siew was dry, flaky and tasteless. Very unique. The noodle and the sauce did not matter at all.


    Advance report of pink char siew very "uniquely" Singapore.
  2. A Japanese hawker stall touting teppanyaki calls in to seek a listing and rating- openly inviting us for a free meal, telling us just how great his grade of beef is. We came unannounced and incognito, ordered and ate at the other end of the food court and came away knowing just how hard beef can be made to be. (we did not bother to ask which type or grade of beef it was.)


    The real lure was the $1 price tag for a big portion.
  3. We noted an extremely long queue for a breakfast fried beehoon stall in thick of a heartlander hawker centre in the east. We stood in the 15min queue, happily bought a freshly fried $1 platter (rather big portion) and devoured all of just two mouthfuls- one to test and one to confirm that the real lure was the $1 price tag for a big portion.
  4. A blogger waxed lyrical about a supper joint offering intestine mee sua. Mind you, that is one dish and reviewer we paid attention to as this dish is an acquired taste, and we respect that. Alas, it came really gooey and tasted as if it was hot seawater thickened with yam starch. I think it must have tasted really good after her earlier jug of vodka as the salt content may have contributed to a calming effect at 3am.

I am now staring at this report on a local style hamburger “shrine” in town. It says “good beef patty, sesame seed buns and specially designed burger. Very proud chef.” Wish us luck and stay tuned.

 
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